Exercise Plan for Mom...and us! (except Jenna)

Busting Ass Issue

The Dealio:
Clay calls me to announce a visit to NC at the end of October. Yeah! He says they’ll only be here for a few days because it is a “business” trip. He wants to buy some land in NC. BUT---- there is a possibility they could stay longer. It all depends on my mom. Her goal is to lose some weight, get healthy, etc, etc. Clay made a deal with her. For every pound she loses, they will stay an extra day here in NC. He wants me to help motivate my mom. So, not only am I going to help motivate her, I’m also asking you guys to help me help her too! What do you say, Jenna and Elise? This is also a great opportunity for Cassie and Elise to join the cause, so to speak, and lose some weight. Jenna, if you want to join the game, then maybe you should make this a time to gain weight. Before you waste away that is! Jenna is not allowed to play if she plans on losing weight. I will smack her paper thin ass. No, seriously speaking, Jenna does need to gain weight. She can tell us all about her disappearing act as a response.

Let’s Get Started:
First and foremost, one cannot hope to lose weight on any diet without exercise. I have actually attempted this recently with Slim-Fast and now my body and I are at a stand-off. I did lose weight, but not anymore. Ok, I haven’t exactly stuck to the plan, but ….just forget it! Jeez, you guys know how to harass a girl!
I want to begin talking about time, methods, and different options before I suggest any plans. We are all women…I hope. We all want to improve our bodies. Actually, Jenna you can play along here. And I know we all have the famous problem spot: Abs. So, for starters I looked this thing up, of course. I didn’t want any hype about belly fat diets and exercises. Just to let you know, anything that contains the words “belly fat” is a BS plan to get you to try their shit. Move on, ladies. Secondly, I know as working mothers Ellie, Jenn, and I have time restrictions. Mom, I don’t know how strapped for time you are because you are childless and jobless. To me, that sounds like a free schedule. Ahem, hint, hint. Third, seeing that we want results quickly for mom and in a timely manner for ourselves, method is important. We don’t want to waste our time with BS ideas or routines that will demand too much time. With that said, let’s get started!

Ab-solutely Fabulous:
Abdominals are what make me cringe first when I look in the mirror. It’s great to look pregnant when in fact you are…but if you are not, it’s a horse of a different color! Then there is cellulite, flabby arms, wiggly inner thighs, and dropping-that-ass (not in the club scene way). Or is this just me? I doubt it. Lately, being summer and all, I have been going to the pool. Nobody is perfect is correct, ladies. Don’t hate on yourselves, trust me. Every female in a bikini does not belong in it. Know your limits. But, ya see, I want to change my limits. I want to get in a bikini. Yes. So, for this to happen, I need to work those abs! I have Ab Ripper X, which is a 15 minute “ab ripper” from P90X, which fits under the categories of fast and effective. But, you ladies don’t. This is why I decided to google it. I found a nice site that discusses the top 10 ab exercises according to a study done by The American Council on Exercise (ACE). I like how they suggested modified versions of some positions. Only downer is that some require equipment. So check out this site, referred to as AB1 following this paragraph. If you think I like to tell it how it is then you need to read the article on the site referred to as No BS Abs. This author really hit’s the nail on the head. There are some other helpful sites linked to at the end of the article. A comment was left about dancing. There is an idea for ya! I also found a cool site with free workout videos! Ooh, I found a site that has posted the ENTIRE Ab Ripper X ….and Team Beachbody has declared war! Check it out before it disappears like Jenna! Just click I Declare War link below!
AB1
No BS Abs
I Declare War

What about all this belly fat hype? Well, I found an informative site WebMD, that helps shed some light on the matter. Also, there are “secret foods” that will magically reduce belly fat. I found a lovely site with a list if you want to take a gander. Just look for the link “12 Foods” at the end of the paragraph. Oh, great, ladies. I’m about to get a “make-over”. So if this posts gets screwy from here on out---I apologize. I see Prevention Magazine boasting this diet all the time. It always makes me curious. I found it on the net. Click on How It Works below. On this subject, I say decide for yourselves.
12 Foods
How It Works

　
I’m Flabbergasted!:
Next up is flabby arms. If you have this problem, then you can relate: pointing to something out the window and seeing your own arm jiggle in the side mirrors! Oh the horror. This is what prompted me to try P90X again. Arrgh! Where do they come from? When did they pop up? I’m at a loss, here. I have never….if someone were to go get me in 94 or 95 and bring to me to now, I believe I would die or have an immediate exercise obsession! Jeez! I may slap my fat self. I don’t know, but my reaction would be anything but joy. Back to the point. I do have the Callanetics video which has a burning technique to rid you of this problem. And seeing that I found my long lost favorite, I’ll be burning in no time. But for those of you who do not have this video---all of you---I have searched for other options. Try having fun with it by playing tennis. This is good arm exercise. Oh joy, I read that in females that fat is primarily deposited in the belly, butt, and arms. The article of discovery also has a little workout plan for flabby arms. Check it out in the Chicken Wing Syndrome link below. It even has little moving how-to squares! And I even found a clip from my favorite video! So watch it for arm benefits in the Cally link below.
The Basics---this reminds me of P90X
Chicken Wing Syndrome
Cally
　
　
Thunder Thighs:
Now, it’s the inner thighs that make you do an inner cringe when trying on bathing suits. You know, I can’t remember my thighs before, but I do remember they didn’t look like this. Luckily, you can’t see “this” on the computer. I think that chicken wing site forgot all about the thunder thigh depository. But another site I stumbled across didn’t forget. Only they say its not easy getting sexy thighs, suggesting longer and more frequent workouts. Check it out in the Sexy Thighs link below. It even suggests a site with thigh workouts. I found a site called Livestrong.com that has a cool video series for your thighs. It also has links to some great thigh articles. Check out the livestrong link below. This is another area that is covered by Callanetics for me. Unfortunately, I could not find a video on this simple exercise. So, I’ll just tell you: Sit on the floor with a chair in front of you; put the sole of your foot on the outside of each leg (make sure your foot is turned so that the sole is on the outer part of the chair leg-- try to put the arch on the leg);now get a good “grip” and squeeze with your thighs for the count of 100 (try to squeeze the chair legs together, so to speak). The count must be like one-one-thousand--- not quick! It sounds easy---but I’m giving you a heads-up now.
Sexy Thighs
Livestrong Thighs
Cool use of weights---just scroll down to bottom of page to see pics and instructions
　
　
　
I Thought Dimples Were Supposed to Be Cute?:
What exactly is cellulite? Can you ever get rid of it? What can we do? I found a very good site: http://www.ridofcellulite.com/index.html. It even gives exercises to get rid of it. But don’t count on diet info---it basically debunks fad cellulite diets. Very interesting news just in: tight underwear may contribute to cellulite by limiting blood flow to the buttocks (in the case of ass dimples). Mom, you need to take notes on this tid-bit. I wonder if pants tight around the waist contribute to “behind the scenes with cellulite?” LMBO! I made a funny--to myself at least. If it does, Mom, you need to take notes again. Sorry to air out your dirty laundry, but I just have to say I TOLD YOU SO on wearing too tight clothes! Apparently, yoga is receiving positive publicity on kicking cellulite’s butt. This is just another reason to give yoga a chance. If you do decide to try yoga, remember to take it easy at first. It may seem like you aren’t doing anything until you feel it the next day. So, don’t overdo it. It is fun, challenging, and effective, but definitely not a joke.
Cellulite Exercise Info
Yoga and Cellulite
Awesome Site with pictures of poses! You can do it!
　

Back That Ass Up---to my teen years!:
Again, I can’t remember the exact condition of a body part (my ass), but I DO remember it wasn’t like it is now. I also remember it looked damn good. It seems my ass has dropped some---that’s the best way to describe the change I feel has taken place. I notice it everyday. Now, don’t get me wrong, my ass is still hot. I just feel I can improve it’s hotness. Squats have been said to the be the most common and effective exercise for your glutes. Yet walking, running, and climbing also do the trick. To get a more rounded, tighter look, you need to do strength training that targets this area of your body. For doing squats, form is important. Getting an exercise ball when you start out, will help master the form. Another good exercise for the butt is the lunge. It will also help with thighs and calves. Another bonus: it’s a good calorie burner too! Ooh, WebMD has an interesting twist on the lunge called the backwards lunge. I have trouble with the forward version! Let’s not forget about the side lunge, which also targets those inner thighs. Yoga is in the picture again. According to WebMD, the Bridge Pose is a good workout for the glutes, hamstrings, and hips. Check out this WebMD article---it has a lot of good stuff. It’s a slide show article, so it’s easy to follow.
WebMD butt article
Best 10 moves ---plus it gives links to other great sites
Prevention TV


Time Is of the Essence:

The number one excuse not to exercise is the lack of time. "i just don't have the time." Often enough I hear this red flag (or variation of) go off in my own head. The thing is, time is abundant. In my metaphysical journey, that your concept of abundance greatly affects the world as you know it. I won't go into detail because this is not the appropriate post. I will just say that time is abundant if we believe it is. When in a rush, say to yourself, "I have plenty of time to...." and soon enough you will see this truth manifest itself in your life. Enough. The point of that ramble is that we have the time! All we need to do is make, find it, rearrange it...do whatever magic you want to perform. Tony Horton (P90X) has a 10 minute workout series. I have it! I also have another 10 minute workout DVD set. Just 10 minutes. Do it 3 times in one day and yu just did a 30 minute workout. Do thirty minutes a day 3 times a week and you have done the suggested minimum for 1 week. It adds up to results. I'm sure setting your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier wouldn't be too hard to accomplish. Then do 10 minutes while dinner is cooking. Or while everyone eats their dinner! Elise used to do the Wii dance thing everynight when she got home from work. I know she can do 10 minutes of exercise. Then 10 minutes before bed. this is a great opportunity to incorporate yoga into your workout routine. Yoga can be so relaxing.

Target has a wholelist of 10 minute solutions. Wal-Mart has 39 “results”
Wii even has a 10 Minute Solutions game
Hell, Denise Austin has 5 minute Target Toners!---get this I even found a book of hers for 1 minute exercises on SwapTree!

Mom can do swimming exercises because she has a pool at her apartment. Here is an awesome videowith some pool moves. Fitness Magazine has a video how-to series that looks fun. And here is a final article from eHow on how to get an ab workout in the pool.

Mom also has a bike, ladies. This is great for the cardiovascular system. It causes less strain on the body than jogging. Sounds like a win-win situation. Cycling can be done as transportation, not just exercise. One can take a quick trip to the store for a small amount of groceries. You can go to the park. The possibilities are endless for Austin---seeing everything is all bunched up together. I came across this one site that boasts all the benefits of cycling. It also recommends some demanding time commitments. But, don’t let this discourage you, Mom, from reading it. Some good points are made. I found some biking info for Austin----so check it out Mom. I will be telling Clay all about this post. And for those of who don’t have a bike (or want to go cycling around town) there is always the option of a stationary cycle. My grandfather got one for 425 at The Salvation Army.
Cycling Page
Austin Bike Routes
Bicycle Austin

Another option for us is to join a gym or the Y. Gyms can be pricey. I’m sure they have promotions. Some have childcare areas. There are gyms that are open 24 hours. Most open very early in the morning. I do not know much about the Y, but I have heard great things. The Y appears to be cheaper (not counting promotional rates of Gyms I did not search) than Gyms. For 2 adults with dependents at my closest Y is $63 per month with a $75 joining fee. The amount of dependents is unlimited. Now that is something to think about. Elise you have to go to an Asheboro location. And I’m sure Jenna and Angie can find a location in their local areas. Note: family Y’s will be in YMCA’s not the YWCA’s. At least, those are the results I got in NC.

The most important thing about exercising is choosing something you will stick with in the long run. It doesn’t matter if you have the perfect video or best routine if you never do it. It’s also best to choose something that fits your time schedule. If something is too demanding you will eventually stop it. Take me for example, I love P90X, but it is very time demanding. I was up to Phase 2 and I hurt my back. After that, I gave up because I would have to start all over again. Which brings me to 2 other points. 1) Don’t expect perfection from yourself. If you miss a day, just keep going with the next step. I would beat myself up for this. If I missed a P90X session, I was sure I wouldn’t get in shape. Then the second time I did the program, I gave myself “mistake” room. I made it to Phase 2. Then after my stupid accident, I had to give my self 2 whole weeks to recuperate. Then Mom came into town. Thanks Mom! I didn’t put in the time I believe I needed, so I gave up. 2) This is where the stupid comes in. When doing an exercise routine, be sure to use the proper equipment, if any. Follow instructions and suggestions. I was not working my back in P90X because I can’t do pull-ups. I knew all I needed was a hook for my band. BUT NO…..I had to procrastinate (fancy term for being a habitual lazy ass). I kept saying, “I’ll be OK,” or “I’ll get it.” And then I hurt my back because I wasn’t training it. I can only blame myself. Not P90X. Tony gives plenty of how-to’s, advice ,warnings, and suggestions.

The next one is a no-brainer: do something you enjoy. I know Jenna finds it hard to believe, but I did enjoy P90X---or I would have never done it. Ya see, I would never go out cycling. I don’t like it. Running on a treadmill is enjoyable for me. I love Callanetics, but some may find it boring. I would probably enjoy Tennis. I love swimming, but when I took a Water Aerobics class in college, I didn’t find it challenging. I only spent about a week in it, but the pace wasn’t fast enough to keep me interested. So, from this little ramble of mine, I have learned something about myself. I like exercise that is challenging, fast-paced, and varied. It doesn’t have to all of the qualities, just enough of one to keep me interested. Callanetics is not fast-paced, but it is challenging. I also like exercise that has some sort of routine, or method. Callanetics definitely has that. P90X follows all of them, but it is very time demanding. It also requires a disciplined type of commitment. I have a problem there. So, I also need a routine that is a little more flexible. Another problem is I want immediate results. This is a BIG motivator for me to do P90X. This BIG want of mine also plays a BIG role in me losing interest in other routines. I’m going on about me! I hope this helped you analyze yourself.

How Disciplined are you?What is your schedule? Where can you pencil in exercise time?
What are activities you enjoy that can count as exercise? How can you make these into routines?
What things do you not like? This is just as important as things you do like.
What do you already have that can get you started? For example, I have a good amount of videos and DVD’s. I have 8lb weights and assorted bands.
What can you be committed to? I will not go to a gym on a regular basis, so it would be pointless to spend my money on a membership. I did this already.
　
This thing has gotten long enough. So, here’s the plan: 1)pick a routine. Use videos you already have or go to Wally World and pick up a 10 minuter. Hell, you can even make up your own with all the info I gave you. 2) Decide on a schedule. If need be, get up a bit earlier. Don’t be afraid to change the schedules of your children. This is a time when Mom comes first! You know the saying, “If Mom isn’t happy, then nobody is happy.”
3) Decide if you need any special equipment. I’ve been told 15oz cans of vegetables work as weights. A towel can act as a mat. Be creative if you can’t spend the money. Speaking of, Jenna, if you’re tight on money, a belly dancing video may be worth the investment. Which brings me to my last point, 4) have fun with it. Turn on the radio or pop in your favorite CD and DANCE! There are plenty of “dance instruction” videos on you tube. OK, I’ll be back in a day or two to discuss eating plans. Love you guys. And Lets Bust Some Ass!

Disclaimer: Cassie is not super-fat.
Ok, my youngest, Diana, just told me that I want to exercise because I don’t want to be fat forever. Now listen here, to all those reading this who do not know any of us: I am not a whale, cow, or manatee. I am not even 150 lbs---close, but no cigar. So, don’t get any pictures of some humungo-chick typing this post!